There is a thing that the young folk do, called Throwback Thursday (TT? TBT?). I would like to make clear that I am not making this throwback-ish post because it is a Thursday, but because I am writing it on Wednesday night and it occurred to me that I could put it up on a Thursday as one of those modern 'the good ol' days' sort of thing.
If I have not mentioned it already, I am an old lady at heart.
It is time to take a little jaunt back down memory lane, and speak of how this blog came about. As you know, the whole point is just to provide an outlet for my love of Tolkien, and hopefully an enjoyable experience for some other Tolkienites, but that is not the true origin story.
My very first post was published on September 12th, 2014. It was very stiff, and short, and trying far too hard to sound professional. To be precise, it was actually neat and informative and I should probably write all of them like that, but I don't. The reason I describe it as stiff and unpleasant, is because it in no way reflects anything of me, except perhaps that I like Tolkien.
As I have grown more comfortable with this blog, I have relapsed into writing in a way that displays my actual personality. I rant, and I get sidetracked, and I scream at you very passionately about how much I like things and how you should too. It is probably far less pleasant to read, but there is no point in pretending to be something that I'm not. I am not, and shall never be an abrupt and professional person, as long as Tolkien is concerned. Believe me, if you had to talk to me in person about Tolkien, it would be far worse.
Sometimes I curl up into a little ball and hum like a mad thing because I have no words for how much I love something.
Conversations often go something like this:
other person: "wow, I love Sam."
me: "yes, he's so amazing it's just....it's.....he's......grrrrbrrbrle....I love him so much...he's so amazing....gaaahhh, Tolkien is so gooooood.....brrrbrle."
My dear friend, known to the mystical world that is the internet as Lady Awdur, can attest to the accuracy of the example provided above.
When talking Tolkien, my true self is bound to emerge. I can't contain myself. When my hero is challenged or insulted, politeness goes out the window. He must be defended. I often don't trust myself to speak and have to leave quickly before I harm someone or explode.
My first post, cleverly titled "2948 TA", is also a tad pretentious, speaking in an affected 'old fashioned' sort of way. I was trying terribly hard to impress - whom, I could not say.
"There also it is told how Eowyn and Meriadoc killed the Witch King and how Minas Tirith was saved."
I started this blog with high ideals. A strange and foolish part of me said something along the lines of: "It's going to be this huge website and have forums and members and they're going to ask questions and I am magically going to have time to post every day and everyone will love it and I'm going to be the queen of England."
Somewhere along the way, I realized how ridiculous that was, and also that time is rather a difficult thing to come by, and also is it really a good idea to become so wrapped up in a Tolkien themed blog that you don't have time to read Tolkien? Is that really what he would have liked? No, he specifically disliked those people.
It's rather difficult to pinpoint an exact post that marks my transition to a more book oriented blog. The part where I started enjoying it. The part where I actually gave up the silly plans and started having decent ideas. The part where I thought to myself "I'm going to do the entire Lord of the Rings and post on the days when things actually happened". I'm going to say it was around the time of: A Very Long and Uncoordinated Rant when I came into my own. This post was followed by a piece of very annoying chatter, and then another 'actual post' about Faramir's birth.
At that point, the formatting was still horrid, punctuation seemed a lost cause, and apparently it had never occurred to me that hitting return every now and then could be beneficial.
Two posts later, and I figured out how to break things up into sections, and add pertinent images (I have since turned away from pictures to a certain extent).
Next came my "I'm so informative" phase, comprised of labelling things like so:
Appendix A>>Annals of the Kings and Rulers>> II. The House of Eorl>>The Kings of the Mark>>Third Line>>Eomer Eadig
Because Appendix A wasn't enough? And from the beginning to the post "Caras Galadhon" I was in what I like to call my apologetic phase where for some reason I always felt bad for not being perfectly on time with posts that went up on a blog that no one actually read. I still hadn't figured out how to enjoy it for myself.
Then came Caras Galadhon I figured out formatting, I figured out how to integrate my rambling nature with conveying the information I needed to convey. I figured out that I could have the more concise parts, and save my rants for posts of their own. Everything did not always need to be said the moment I thought it.
This blog is two years old, but it only properly started on February 14th of this year. Thus began the Red Book that I hope you have come to know and love. At any rate, I have come to love it for what it is. To love writing it not because I hope someone else will read and the view count will go up, but because I enjoy it. A place where I put myself, not a place where myself puts things.
Incidentally, that may have been the first post that got a comment. (Thank you Fawnabelle!)
I have really, really enjoyed writing this blog, and because of it I have spent more, rather than less, time reading Tolkien. I also think my family is happy that I have somewhere else to vent, because it means I won't burble at them. At least, not quite as much.
And that is the origin story of this little collection of zeros and ones.
Until next time!
Some of my favorite posts (and favorite parts of the book):
The Battle of Pelennor Fields....excuse me while I go weep internally about Theoden.
