Fanatics, Obsessed, and Over Obsessed

Oho! So you've read the Lord of the Rings have you? *Rubs hands together with anticipation* Well isn't that nice! Absolutely delightful I'm sure. You probably enjoyed it too! Maybe, in the depths of your mind you are even considering reading it again. How lovely. Delightful! Splendid! Possible, you are even what you might call, a fanatic. Maybe. Possibly, but probably not. Perhaps you even go so far as to call yourself an obsessed fanatic. Wrong.
I shall address the first issue....um...first.
Fanatic....well a quick question. Did you know there was a prologue to the Lord of the Rings? Did you? Did you? If so, have you read it? If still so, have you read the whole shebang twice? If STILL so, have you read the hobbit twice as well? Have you done all this with the intention of doing it AGAIN? and AGAIN? and AGAIN?
If so to all the above, you are a fan. But simply, "reading the Lord of the Rings and liking it" doesn't count. I mean, what are feelings and virtues without actions?

And now for the next issue, which I am dealing with.....wait for it.....NEXT! (Oh my, you never saw that one coming did you?)

And obsessed fanatic....tsk tsk tsk...such large words. All the better to trap you with my pretty.
We have recently defined "fanatic" in regard to LOTR, now let us do the same with "obsessed"
Now, what we should really say is two fanatics and an obsessed. Which means that, to be an obsessed fanatic, you must meet the fanatic requirements. Then do them all again, then meet obsessed requirements. So with that in mind. Do one fanatic, then do an obsessed, then do a fanatic again, and you will get much more out of it. An obsessed being the....will you ever guess.....I can just hear the music going on right now....I can keep my words in time with the beat.....even though you can't hear it....imagine really morose and boring music playing every time you see and...ellipses....anyway....back to the matter at hand....where was I?.....oh yes of course....APPENDICES!!! (yay!!! Drumroll! You totally saw that one coming.)
So yeah. Reading the appendices, word for word page for page, no skips, no skims, just read it.

So the moral of this story, is read The Hobbit, The Prologue, The Lord of the Rings...Then do it again...Then read the Appendices.....Then The Hobbit, The Prologue, The Lord of the Rings...then again...then just keep going every two years for the rest of your life....there you go, now you're beginning to get the hang of it. Good.

Someday I will talk to you about being and OVER Obsessed Fanatic. I think I even have a whole chart lying around here somewhere. Doesn't it seem like this post has gone on way to long. I feel like I should talk about Tolkien to make up for it. Of course, we have a whole page for that, so wouldn't that be silly now?

Are there people who read LOTR TWICE a year? Or maybe even once a season....which is, you know...four times a year.
Doubt it. But it's a nice thought.